Anonymous against Scientology

Everyone knows about Scientology, hailed by many as the most ridiculous ‘religion’ around, although I’d personally refer to it as a cult, and a very expensive one to join at that. The religion has been accused of murdering its members (Lisa McPherson being a notable example), stalking, following and harassing John Sweeney and ripping off those enticed into their elaborate hierarchical scam.

In response, Anonymous was founded, originally a unit of hactivists working off IRC channels, hence the name of their project: Project Chanology; a group of politically motivated hackers who take a lead role in disabling Scientology websites through DoS attacks with some historical success.

Originally I was pro-Anonymous all the way. I saw Scientology as the most nonsensical scam ever concocted and felt an irresistible moral urge to support Anonymous in any way I could. I printed posters, posted on forums and even participated in some IRC chats. However there came a point when I realised that actually Scientology is, in a rather subtle way, the foundation of a very important benefit to society and something which should be developed to fulfil its full potential. Here is my reasoning:

After many years of watching governments fail at scientific issues and reading articles about cases of extreme financial illiteracy and stupid decisions made by bankers, I have grown to appreciate a real need for a tax on stupidity. People who simply cannot work out that, on a £10K salary, whatever banks may tell them, buying a £500K house is just not a good idea are being given an unreasonable amount of sympathy by the imbeciles in our beloved government, and bankers who invent things like ARMs for subprime borrowers get bailed out by the very same government when the idea unsurprisingly fails spectacularly. At risk of sounding like the Daily Mail, I’d say that the cost of such stupidity is being covered by the government, and thus ultimately paid for by tax payers, many of whom are very intelligent people who, owing to this intelligence, are having a generally positive effect on the entire country.

To make an audacious sweeping generalisation, I’d also say joining the cult of Scientology is equivalent to a statement to the world about one’s IQ – or lack of it. To believe blindly in the most fantastical science fiction ever written surely reflects badly on one’s intelligence? I would argue that only the most stupid, misguided or spectacularly ignorant people in the world would believe in something like Scientology, and since they pay a premium for membership of this society, this sounds like exactly what I was suggesting the creation of in the previous paragraph.

Of course, as it stands at present, some changes need to be made. Anonymous suggested Scientology be stripped of its status as a tax-free religion, and quite rightly too. My view is that it should be turned into a company with shares – I’d definitely buy a large stake in it – or even be bought over by the government, a worthy investment which would constitute some government income: a stupidity tax. If this system is integrated it would be the end of high taxes and the beginning of a new era in which not being stupid actually reduces tax and in which, as a result of natural selection, the average intelligence of an entire country (or even world) will increase to a level of mental competence at which people can think for themselves and refuse to believe things blindly and moronically.

The views expressed in this post are highly exaggerated for the sake of irony and sarcasm; in other words, don’t take this too seriously – I certainly didn’t, hence the ridiculous and probably fallacious nature of many of my arguments.


4 Responses to Anonymous against Scientology

  1. Llen says:

    I must say the argument is very persuasive, and you were quite correct to place a disclaimer at the bottom. However, working backwards from your own argument (in a somewhat roundabout manner) you might want to slightly cut down on the “toe-stepping” or even slamming in some cases in the future – as there will always be a few, and sometimes more than a few, who will see this as a direct threat to whatever belief they may have – which can be acosted in a similar manner.

    I think the irony and sarcasm are very well placed, and personally I would have to agree with most of what you say, but jumping from afront of Scientology – to let’s say more well placed beliefs is a small step – and one which many may see where actually none exist.

  2. Truemajeed says:

    Great post man. Nice thinking. Maybe we could scrap scientology completely and set up a government-run alternative? ‘Pseudoscientology’ anyone? That way we have 100% of the revenue going back into public coffers :D

  3. Vivan Jayant says:

    Scientology would be an amazing business, making loads of money, and I would be absolutely fine with it, EXCEPT that it pretends to be a religion when it was founded for the sole purpose of making money by a washed-up sci-fi writer.

  4. Vagfoore says:

    favorited this one, brother

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